OPEN
I open the refrigerator
and see everything...
popsicles and Corvina,
plastic covered Croakers
zip-locked eternity
Salton Sea,
the White Impala,
George the Bowler...
and that little boat…
all stare back at me now
deadeye dick
and that hot, chafing, desert wind
somehow keeps blowing
harder out past the freezer door...
mixing with the heat
of your absence
I can feel it now
against our red, sun-burnt faces
in the photo, near the window--
a bunch of polaroid tomatoes
just happy to be there…
with you...
a fish-eye lens
casting weighted lines
across roaring seas
merging highways and
your deadly side-glance
pulsing still...
flicking ashes into the night
as we race again
to the all day boat
at 4 am
your smoky lungs
and silent invectives
speeding past the CHP
your clear mind...
whiskey in the tackle box
and cigarettes
letting go of war
for a moment
(but never, ever letting go...)
your devilish smile
unleashing God's face
shoving weights
into dead fish bellies
just in case we didn't win
the jackpot outright
baby sharks thrash
burlap sacks
I dream of keeping them
forever…
in the bathtub
in our tiny house
while your littlest ones
wait anxiously
in the yard with mom
Inglewood locals
stare in awe
as your loving gaze
makes suburbia careen
* * *
I clutch your big index finger,
and we cross the street again
squinting into another setting sun.
I remember…
I remember you, always.
--akm
© Ara Mgrdichian
and see everything...
popsicles and Corvina,
plastic covered Croakers
zip-locked eternity
Salton Sea,
the White Impala,
George the Bowler...
and that little boat…
all stare back at me now
deadeye dick
and that hot, chafing, desert wind
somehow keeps blowing
harder out past the freezer door...
mixing with the heat
of your absence
I can feel it now
against our red, sun-burnt faces
in the photo, near the window--
a bunch of polaroid tomatoes
just happy to be there…
with you...
a fish-eye lens
casting weighted lines
across roaring seas
merging highways and
your deadly side-glance
pulsing still...
flicking ashes into the night
as we race again
to the all day boat
at 4 am
your smoky lungs
and silent invectives
speeding past the CHP
your clear mind...
whiskey in the tackle box
and cigarettes
letting go of war
for a moment
(but never, ever letting go...)
your devilish smile
unleashing God's face
shoving weights
into dead fish bellies
just in case we didn't win
the jackpot outright
baby sharks thrash
burlap sacks
I dream of keeping them
forever…
in the bathtub
in our tiny house
while your littlest ones
wait anxiously
in the yard with mom
Inglewood locals
stare in awe
as your loving gaze
makes suburbia careen
* * *
I clutch your big index finger,
and we cross the street again
squinting into another setting sun.
I remember…
I remember you, always.
--akm
© Ara Mgrdichian
